Patterns.

Another semester at Westminster. I am literally, the last surviving senior MT major. This sad fact hit me on the first day of classes, when I continued to look around for Russ, Jenna or Liz. Of course, they weren't there. My support system, my best friends, my rocks were just gone.

This caused me to go home and break down in a fit of tears and self pity. It didn't help that I was having my energy and life sucked out of me by the same poisionous human being that screwed me over twice before. Unfortunately, we're trying this "friendship" thing, and since we both seem to need friendship, I turned to him. But it's not the same. No one can replace Russ, Jenna and Liz. No one ever will.

*new train of thought*

I am breaking this awful habit ASAP. I am so tired of the same old "I'm sorry. I screwed up" excuse that you throw at me to make me think you have changed. You know me. You know that I give second, third, fourth chances. You are using me.

"Friends" call each other back. "Friends" make an effort to hang out, or help, or lend an ear or a shoulder. "Friends" make compromises.

YOU do not do these things. You are selfish. You will not make an effort to drive to school to watch my last Orientation week Lip Sync performance. But you WILL pay for a plane ticket to go to California.

You lie. You cheat. You make up stories to get a sympathy vote. You need attention from girls, and you feel as though you have a power over them. Like no other girl out there can resist your rehearsed charm and your lack-luster sense of humor. 

I am disgusted by you, and angry at myself for thinking you had grown up. Above all, I'm tired of wasting space in this blog with stories and complaints about you.